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  • #31
    ...............
    Last edited by cogito; 28-03-2022, 08:41 PM.
    I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
    Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

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    • #32
      Originally posted by jembo View Post
      ...............
      Lol good mammogram haha
      UP THE DUBS!!!

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      • #33
        Dubai do not show Yogi Bear on television.....

        But, Abu-Dhabi do.....
        Here Rex!!!...Here Rex!!!.....Wuff!!!....... Wuff!!!

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        • #34
          Then there’s the woman who goes to the dentist.
          As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch.
          The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you’ve got a hold of my privates."
          The woman replies, "Yes. Now, we’re going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren’t we."
          I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
          Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

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          • #35
            roflmao

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            • #36
              .....................
              Last edited by cogito; 28-03-2022, 08:41 PM.
              I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
              Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

              Comment


              • #37
                One doctor says to another doctor, "I think that I will have to fire nurse Smith". So the other doctor asked him, "How come"? "Because she keeps getting things backwards. The other day I told her to give Mr. Jones in room 301 one pill every four hours. She ended up giving him 4 pills every hour. I then told her to change the bandage on his head. She ended up making his bed." All of a sudden they heard this horrible scream coming from Mr. Jones's room. So the doctor says, "Oh No! I will definitely have to fire nurse Smith now. I told her to go in and prick Mr. Jones boil."
                I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
                Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

                Comment


                • #38
                  Three couples went to see a minister to find out how to become members of his church. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged, and the third couple had just been married. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister.
                  The retired couple said it was no problem at all.
                  The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem.
                  The newlyweds said it was fine until the wife dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister.
                  "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up lust took over and I had to have her right there and then, so I lifted up her skirt and"
                  The minister abruptly stuck out his hand so the man would say no more, and told them that he was sorry, but they weren't welcome in the church.
                  "Oh, that's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in The DIY store anymore either."
                  I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
                  Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    ..................
                    Last edited by cogito; 28-03-2022, 08:41 PM.
                    I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
                    Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      ........................
                      Last edited by cogito; 28-03-2022, 08:41 PM.
                      I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
                      Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        .................
                        Last edited by cogito; 28-03-2022, 08:41 PM.
                        I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
                        Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          For those of my generation who simply do not, and cannot, comprehend why Facebook exists —*I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.*
                          Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I'm doing now, what I will be doing later and with whom, and where I'm going next, and ask them to follow me along and watch me be important.
                          Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, washing the car, driving around town, eating lunch, getting a haircut, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.
                          I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them and will be friends with them.* It all works just like Facebook.* Only I do it face to face, not on a little glass screen.
                          *I already have four people following me — two police officers, a private investigator, and a psychiatrist.

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                          • #43
                            ...................
                            Last edited by cogito; 28-03-2022, 08:41 PM.
                            I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
                            Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Originally posted by jembo View Post
                              ...................
                              Taking the piss...?
                              Here Rex!!!...Here Rex!!!.....Wuff!!!....... Wuff!!!

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                              • #45
                                Patient: Doctor, I have a problem. I feel unhealthy and depressed.
                                Doctor: You should cut down on drinks.
                                Patient: I don't touch a drop.
                                Doctor: You should cut down on smoking.
                                Patient: I don't smoke.
                                Doctor: You should stop taking drugs.
                                Patient: I don't do drugs.
                                Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing.
                                Patient: Haven't touched a woman in my life.
                                Doctor: In that case, get yourself a drink, learn to smoke, do some drugs, and find a couple of girlfriends.
                                I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
                                Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

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